So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
