she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
