turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
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She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
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I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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