We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in