i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize