A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts