VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
