3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
