So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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