I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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