I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
