This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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