WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
