You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
