A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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