Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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