And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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