K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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