butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
