please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
