Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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