a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
