He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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