he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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