So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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