I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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