Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
