sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Acid is not a monday night drug
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
