That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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