she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wish i was in the wii world.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize