no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
