I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
