The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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