My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I pour the whiskey from now on
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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