In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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