call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
