omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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