I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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