I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
