Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
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