Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
