It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
