I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
