the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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