don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
