I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
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