he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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