OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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