how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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