I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
