perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I believe in your delicious
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
