you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
