Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
