I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
