Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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