I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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