I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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