I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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