Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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