My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
